Teach me the Talmud...

[crc]

> The priest meets his friend, the rabbi,
> and says to him, 'You have taught me
> many things but there is one thing in
> particular that I want very much to
> learn, but you refuse to teach me: I
> want you to teach me the Talmud.'
>
> The rabbi replies: 'You are a gentile
> and you have the brain of a gentile.
> There is no chance that you will ever
> succeed in understanding the Talmud.'
>
> The priest continues in his attempt
> to persuade the rabbi to teach him
> the Talmud.
>
> Finally, the rabbi agrees.
>
> The rabbi says to the priest: 'I agree
> to teach you the Talmud on condition
> that you answer one question.'
>
> The priest agrees 'What is the question?'
>
> The rabbi asks: 'Two men fall down
> through the chimney. One comes out
> dirty and the other comes out clean.
> Who of those two goes to wash up?'
>
> 'Very simple,' replies the priest.
> 'The one who is dirty goes to wash
> up and the one who is clean does not
> go to wash up.'
>
> The rabbi responds: 'I told that you
> will never succeed in understanding
> the Talmud! The exact opposite is
> true: The clean one looks at the
> dirty one and thinks that he is also
> dirty and goes to wash up. The dirty
> one, on the other hand, looks at the
> clean one and thinks that he is also
> clean and, therefore, does not go to
> wash up.'
>
> The priest says to the rabbi: 'I did
> not think of that. Please ask me
> another question.'
>
> The rabbi asks: 'Two men fall down
> through the chimney. One comes out
> dirty and the other comes out clean.
> Who of these two goes to wash up?'
>
> The priest answers: 'Very simple.
> The clean one looks at the dirty
> one and thinks he is also dirty and
> goes to wash up. The dirty one,
> on the other hand, looks at the
> clean one and thinks that he is also
> clean and, therefore does not go to
> wash up.'
>
> The rabbi responds: 'You are wrong
> again! I told you that you will
> never understand: The clean one
> looks in the mirror, sees that he
> is clean and, therefore, does not
> go to wash up. The dirty one looks
> in the mirror, sees that he is
> dirty and goes to wash up.'
>
> The priest complains, 'But you did
> not tell me that there is a mirror!'
>
> The rabbi responds: 'I told you:
> You are a gentile. With your brain
> you will never succeed in
> understanding the Talmud. To
> understand the Talmud, you have to
> think of all possibilities.'
>
> 'All right,' groans the priest,
> 'Let us try once more. Ask me one
> more question.'
>
> 'For the last time', asks the rabbi,
> 'Two men fall through the chimney.
> One comes out dirty and the other
> comes out clean. Who of these two
> goes to wash up?'
>
> 'Okay. This is now very simple!'
> replies the priest. 'If there is
> no mirror, the clean one will look
> at the dirty one and will think
> that he is also dirty and,
> therefore, will go to wash up. The
> dirty one will look at the
> clean one and will think that he
> is also clean, and, therefore,
> will not go to wash up. If there
> is a mirror, the clean one will
> look in the mirror and, therefore,
> will not go to wash up. The dirty
> one will look in the mirror and
> will see that he is dirty and,
> therefore, will go to wash up.'
>
> The rabbi responds: 'I told you
> that you will never succeed in
> understanding the Talmud. You are
> a gentile. You have a non-Jewish
> brain. Tell me, just how is it
> possible for two men to fall
> through a chimney and one to come
> out dirty while the other comes
> out clean?'

[IttaiM]

[tiptip]

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שעל היהודי חלה מצוות נטילת ידיים